Simran

******

What happens when something is heated beyond what it can tolerate, like steam building inside a closed boiler? 

Eventually, it bursts. 

My situation was no different. It was hardly a matter of a day or two before I would burst too, bringing catastrophe along.

I walked outside the dance academy, watching my phone screen, my messages still left unread. 

Three thousand five hundred and seventy-seven messages were the count of the messages I sent my husband, and three hundred and twenty-two, that was the count of how many times I had called, and my call was transferred to voicemail. 

But that wasn't all. 

This wasn't the worst part at all, and the thing was, I was the only one being tortured like that. Last night, he called Dhruv Bhaiya, and when I asked Dhruv Bhaiya to give me his phone, my cowardly husband hung up. He messaged Di to check up on her health, but he didn't care to ask me even once how my wound was.

I was past the phase where I would have felt disappointed. 

As a wife, I felt humiliated and disrespected. And I didn't do anything to deserve that. My heart was past that broken phase; it wanted my mind to take power in its hand, and that's what I did. I offered all the power to my mind, and now it was time to use it against him.

I noticed the same black BMW waiting for me right in front of my dance academy. Enzo had been picking and dropping me for the past week, and I decided not to act like his master's puppet anymore. 

I didn't realize I was being a puppet all this time, not until last night when he definitely showed through his actions where I lie on his priority list. 

I didn't even make it to the list, actually, because if I had been there, he would have called me and not everyone else in the family. So while everyone knew through him that he went on a business trip, I knew that was all a lie he fabricated to stay away from me. After all, how would he meet my eyes after he hurt me, and the scar of it was still on my forehead, hiding behind a band-aid.

Enzo was watching the surroundings like a hawk, and then he stepped out of his car, waiting for me. I was sure there were other men around, too, keeping an eye on me like I was the President who would soon be attacked by my rivals. I had noticed that Enzo and those who worked under Kiaan never actually met my eye, as if someone would gouge their eyes out if they looked at me.

I didn't have to cajole my brain much to realize who would have threatened them and why. Of course, the beast would have threatened them with their lives. Hypocrite!

Enzo kept waiting for me, but I didn't move an inch from my place. Instead, I booked a cab. The cab arrived in a few seconds, and when Enzo watched me take that step, he rushed to stop me. But it was too late. I was already seated in the cab, and the driver drove away. 

Enzo followed our vehicle. I didn't mind being followed because that was for security reasons, but I hated being controlled. I despised being treated like a slave of a monster whom I had thought I could give a chance to redeem his past cruel deeds. So I retaliated, and I would keep doing it. 

Once I reached the house, I saw his car parked right in front of the mansion. My heart skipped a beat as I reread the car plate number. It was him.

Is he back now?

My heartbeat got faster as my mind clouded with his thoughts. Every disappointment, every hurt started getting replaced with the contentment of seeing him again. I ran inside, didn't walk, didn't stroll, but literally ran. 

I noticed the family there, talking. Dhruv Bhaiya and Saavi were there along with grandpa. I wandered my gaze, unable to hide my desperation, to look for him.

"He sent his car for servicing..." Saavi said. My heart sank for the thousandth time. I nodded at her, giving her a clipped smile as I walked into my room. They knew I was waiting for him; everyone knew. And I acted desperate for the man who was hurting me.

What's wrong with me?

I wasn't like this, but I had changed. That man changed me into someone I could barely recognize, and I had now begun to hate this version of myself who was still waiting for her monster to come back.

******

At night, when everyone slept, I tiptoed into the garage. 

Not because I wanted to sneak out somewhere, but because I wanted to feel his presence, his essence. I flicked on the lights, and there it was. It felt like he sent a part of himself to me when I saw his car. 

The quiet, controlled car reminded me of my beast and his aura. I pressed my palm on the car's bonnet like I was touching the heart of my man. I still remember those fearful eyes from the night of our reception when he was healing my wound.

Why did you run away like a coward, Kiaan?

Why did you do that to me?

Was he bruised, too? But why would he? Wasn't he the one who slashed my heart?

Then my phone pinged with a message. I thought it was him. 

But it was Dustin sending me the address of his cousin's office. His cousin was a private investigator, and I had asked for her office's address. 

A few weeks ago, when I went to Kiaan's office, I had asked him for some money. Today, when I actually checked my bank balance, I found thirty million transferred. That was not even close to my three-year salary. It was a lot more than that. 

But I genuinely needed that money, so I didn't make a fuss, and who would I have made a fuss to? 

The man responsible for it was not even there. But I had planned only to use what was needed and return the rest to him. I was not someone who borrowed, and now getting it from even my own husband made me feel awkward.

Staying there, I just stared at his car, as if I was watching him. I shouldn't have been feeling that way for the man who had only hurt me. My brain knew how to get out of that situation, but the thing was...My heart was involved. Now, how would I have gotten out of something that had my heart feel something I had never felt before?

My eyes burned with unshed tears, but I blinked them away, not letting them break the barrier and flow in the stream. I kept my palm over the bonnet of the car.

"Why can't I stay away from you even... even after everything?" I asked no one in particular, but his car, replacing the car's image with his.

"Why does my heart hurt so much whenever your thoughts cross my mind?"

My heart hurts almost every day because there wasn't a part of the day when Kiaan Chauhan didn't rule my thoughts, neither when I was awake, nor when I slept. He was there, clouding and hovering, my life, existence, my sleep, my dreams, my everything.

I had planned a revenge on him when he married me, but here I was tangled in emotions, being the victim of my own revenge. The revenge plan had backfired in a way that I was the one bruised and battered while he was out there unscathed.

"Simmi..." Suddenly, Di's voice startled me. I turned my face sideways as I wiped my tears, which broke free without my will. I took a deep breath as I turned around, noticing Di walking towards me. She looked sleepy and was yawning. When she came closer, she noticed that I still had one of my hands on the car. I instantly pulled my hand back, feeling awkward.

"Yad aa rahi hai uski?" She asked softly.

[Missing him?]

"No..." I shook my head and stared down at my feet. I knew I would cry if I said anything more. The lump formed in my throat strangled me, and I struggled to gulp it down.

"You know...running away is always an easy escape for men. They do that when they face something they aren't prepared for. Emotional confrontation usually drains them out as they like to be in control of everything....as if they lose control for once, the world will burn...." 

Di scoffed, taking a dig at every man out there.

I never told her Kiaan was avoiding facing me, yet she knew. 

Perhaps everyone had guessed by now, the way he was protective of me the entire reception, and then left me the other day, and how I kept waiting for him, glancing at the door every now and then, was proof enough for everyone that things hadn't been fine. But no one said anything. It was better that way; at least I didn't feel more humiliated than I already was.

"Men are idiots..." 

Di commented next, standing beside me. I looked at her, confused over the generalized statement.

"Don't look at me like that, I am right. Your Jiju was no different."

Really? Jiju, too, was like that? As far as I remembered, he loved Di so much that he would cry for her if Di wished. He would do anything Di wanted.

"How did you change him?" 

My voice was almost a whisper.

"I didn't."

"Unhe bas ehsaas ho gaya...meri baahon mein bikhar jaana, muh pher kar bhaagne se zyada behtar hai."

[He simply realized... falling apart in my arms is better than turning away and running.]

Really? Was it that simple?

But then it was Namit Khanna and not Kiaan Chauhan. Her husband was human, while mine was a beast. There was a difference.

"I am still your same sister. You can...always tell me anything...." 

 Di's words stirred something inside of me, and I hugged her instantly. I couldn't control myself anymore as I sniffled, hugging her. I could hear my heart breaking, the pieces of it clinking against each other.

"What are you hiding?" 

She asked me gently, rubbing my back. I had so much to tell her, so much to let out, but not then. I didn't want to stress her out when I was still figuring out my life. I was still in the process of sorting my life's mess, which was more tangled than before, and I wanted everything untangled before pulling her in too.

I pulled back from the hug, and then she stared at me with concern, wiping my tears with the corner of the white dupatta of her suit.

"One day, I will tell you everything, but can you please trust me until then?" I asked, with hope that she would understand, that she wouldn't rush me into telling her anything as I wasn't prepared for it yet.

"Trusting you goes without saying..." She replied, smiling.

Di had been waking up frequently at night because she had been craving all the sweet things because of her pregnancy.

"You woke up to have Ras Malai, didn't you?"

"Yess..." She gave me that sheepish, adorable smile and giggled with the excitement of having them.

"Let's have it together..." I said as I held her hand to take her inside.

"And a burger too, please..." 

She pleaded, making that cute face.

"With lots of cheese...." I added. Her eyes twinkled as she exclaimed, "Perfect!!"

We sisters talked till late about Di's plan of shopping for her kids' clothes and other stuff while watching Hera Pheri, one of the best comedy movies.

But all night, my heart still bled, because nothing could heal the wounds my beast had inflicted. It was only a matter of time: either I would succumb to them and die, or I would do something that would drag him into the very mess he had created.

******

The Beast is being cruel now, don't you all think so? 🥹

Hi Lovelies,

I hope you all are doing amazing. 🤗

But Kiaan is being really cruel, hurting her like that, talking to everyone but her. 🥹

He surely has lost his mind, or he might be scared he would lose every ounce of control he has regained if he talks to her, listens to her voice once 🥹

What do you all think would happen now? 🤔

Who will take the brave step to reach their partner? The Beast or His Firefly? 🤔

Do share your views about the chapter. It would mean a lot to me. ❤️

P.S -> The next update will be published on Saturday. ❤️

Thanks,

Shrishtee